Week 9: 2 Months In ☀️

¡Buenas todos! ¿Cómo estás? 

I was talking to an elder in my district the other day about how when talking about missions, everybody says to "just enjoy it" and "embrace the experience." And i have been trying to, but I have also learned that it's REALLY hard to enjoy something that REALLY sucks sometimes. And dont get me wrong, it has been amazing meeting people and seeing how they have been affected by accepting God in their lives- but its really hard! I mean who likes walking in the blistering heat all day while getting chased down by dogs and ignored, rejected and made fun of by the people we are trying to help?? And on top of that everyone treats you like you have a disability because you don't understand what they're saying? I would definitely much rather be safe at home with my family and watching The Office with a bowl of ice cream- but I'm not. I didn't only sign up for this, but i'm PAYING to be here. And mama didn't raise a quitter

OK here's some happenings this week:

- I have been having like a LOT of dreams of home, and in every single on it's where i have "finally finished my mission!" and i'm so happy be to be home and im with my family again!

But then I wake up and I am still here. Those days specifically have been hard

- here is my question: why do bugs feel the need to bite people? What do they gain besides death by me and emnity from man? 

-most dogs are wuss unless they're safe behind a fence. Come face me like a man you coward 

-Panamanians cannot sing to save their life

-I told some friends in the MTC that I wanted to become more of a hugger on the mission, and God must have heard it too because he gave me a comp that *LOVES* hugs and physical touch. To the point where i'm thinking we either have to DTR or have a talk about boundaries. (That DTR was a joke btw). But how lucky am I that the hardest thing about my comp is she loves hugs? 

I dont know how many of you have actually been reading me emails about the people we've been teaching- I know I was only ever interested in seeing the photos in my siblings mission emails lol- but lowkenuienly some weird stuff happened this week

I will start with Osnay. I mentioned her on my last email- she was the lady who waited at the bus stop for us for 40 minutes because she wanted to come to church.  

I will share some of her story just for context: BASICALLY she has been in a domestically abusive relationship for years and even went to psychiatric care in the hospital. We taught her about how God sees her struggles and advised her to reach out to the police. We visited her a few more times and then last Monday night we were walking to her house to visit when we saw her and her 7 year old son on the sidewalk. She said she needed to stay away from the house because her boyfriend was there and threatening to kill her, and that the next morning she was going to the police. We were like holy crap- like what could we even do for her in this situation but pray? For the next few days we kept going by to make sure she was OK and especially alive, but nobody answered 

Finally on Thursday, we yelled outside her house and right when we were about to give up, she walked out! The relief that rushed over me was insane. She brought us in, and first let me say- we could not feel the spirit in that home. She told us where she has been and showed us her paperwork she filed against her boyfriend. Keep in mind I still don't understand spanish, but when she stood up and started trying to pull my companion off the couch to follow her into the house, I knew exactally why. My comp refused as nicely as she could and INSISTED it was really not necessary, but Osnay kept pulling her, and when she wouldn't budge, she came to me. She grabbed my wrists and started pulling me off the couch. TRUST i tried to pull back but that lady was strong and would not let go- I stared at my comp with panick as she pulled me off my chair and down the hallway. Her exact words were, "Come see the one who hit me" 

Yeah heck no

She held onto my wrists the entire time as she showed us her house and then the rest of her kids who she also has a bad relationship with, and then she tried to pull me into her BEDROOM. No i did not go into the bedroom and yes i know- survival instincts of a potato. We smiled and tried to get back to the living room as soon as possible but i did notice the blood splattered on the wall. We left soon after, and for our own saftey and for the saftey of Osnay, we decided we would not be returning to her house, but we could meet outside on the streets or in public. This is partially because we have never met her boyfriend and we don't know what could happen to us or her if he finds out we were the ones advising her to turn him into the police.

All I know is that neither me or my companion felt the spirit of God in that house. In fact we felt the opposite. I feel peace in knowing the gospel blesses peoples lives and encourages everyone to be better and live better. i don't really know how to end this story besides sharing this scripture from 3 Nephi 14: 16-18:

"Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?

17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.

18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit."

Yesterday as my comp and I were walking to a lesson, I was asking myself what was my reason for being here? Why did I decide to serve a mission besides that it has always been my plan to serve? I feel like im not even doing any good here and I can't speak the language. Then I heard some mumbling behind us and when I looked back I saw a guy who was obviously drunk. We see this a lot so I didnt think much of it, but then he came closer and said he had a question for us. From what I remember this guy looked about his mid to late 20's had a braid in the back of his head like anakin from star wars, and his eyes were a little yellow. He asked us why Jesus came to earth? We explained that he came for him, and for us. I wish i could have understood the conversation more, but he told us he is "a man of the world, doing things that arent right" and that if God was there, why hasn't he come to help him? 

As transcribed by my companion: 

Him: " i am a sinner , and you are angels sent by god"

Hma fernando: "no hermano, we also make mistakes. Nobody is perfect"

Him: " no, you don't understand why I'm talking to you. I know that you are angels"

He also told us the braid in the back of his head was because Jesus had long hair, and he was taking care of it like his life. 

Looking at him it was obvious something had broken him

He told us his name but I only caught part of it. We told him God loved him and invited him to church, but i wish we got his number or found some way to help him. I watched him as he walked away. He continued down the road and it looked like he started crying because he was wiping his face and eyes. then he stumbled into a ditch, bent over like he was gonna throw up, but then stood back up and walked out of view

This man looked broken, and was an answer to my questions and doubts I was having literally 2 minutes before. I came here to help people like him. To help them know that God loves them. I don't know where I would be if i didnt know i will be with my family for eternity, or that i can be forgiven for all my mistakes, and that when I feel alone, I can take comfort in knowing Jesus Christ felt the way I feel and he loves me

Lo siento for this really long email, if you read it to the end then you get extra points- good job

I might sound like another desperate missionary asking for emails but its because I am- email me!!!!!

Hma wride

Shoutout Jenna's b day today! Me and hma ate sushi in your honor

Prayer list: 

Yisel, Jullian, misela, Gabriel, Osnay, Jesús, gabriella, Andreina, Xavier, Genesis, Geral, Joanna, Merian, Luis

Photos (don't know the order):

-ice cream with the zone

-FHE with some friends!

-this place is called the cornfield, there's glass all over the dirt floor while kids are running around barefoot but despite their situation everyone there is so happy

-sunset

-how cute my sister??? Love you princess

-there's a holiday on the 21 of September where you give someone you care about yellow flowers, and our friend Jeffrey handmade note cards for me and hma with yellow flowers

-seeing a rainy sky is almost as good as a baptism

-jehovas witnesses we saw lol. If you look there's the ones behind me and even more behind them tehe. To everyone else we must all look the same because I thought they were missionaries at first

-Last but not least Yisels baptism! she is the best

Ok this is actually long I will shut up now

Week 8: Poco a poco🌻

Poco a poco means little by little and is our comp phrase aqui

This week was good! It was actually pretty mid but i knew the mission wouldn't be easy so esta bien 

Here's an average day in the life of Hermana Wride in panama:

-Wake up 6:30

-stare at the ceiling

-stretch

-get ready

-study for a long time but its never actually enough time 

-go out and GATHER ISRAEL

-lunch

-additional study where I try not to fall asleep

-go out and GATHER ISRAEL... AGAIN

-its very important at this point in my schedule to get as many mosquito bites as possible

-come home at 9

-eat dinner

-journal and sleep

This week was zone conference and we drove over to Panama City! And I got to see the canal! From a bus on a bridge but still i saw it. I love the city and the subway station lol. I got to see some more people from my CCM district! I love them and so it was nice to see them all

A few things this week:

-learned i don't know how to spell baptize, babtise just looks right 

-had chicken and rice for dinner and learned that mozzarella cheese on rice is a heavenly combo

-comp exchanges with the STLs (sister training leaders) i forgot my pajamas and came back with 3 extra blisters on top of the 13 mosquito bites on my feet

Spiritual:

This sounds silly but I had a mini tender mercy this week with my beautiful precious fan. I brought this tiny fan with my from home to cool me off at night and i while im sleeping I keep accidentally knocking it off the bed. Finally it had had enough abuse and slowly stopped working until I turned it on one night and it wouldn't start! This had been a particularly rough day and I literally was about to cry- sounds dramatic but you try walking around in sunny, 11 UV, high humidity, 101° heat all day and tell me how you feel. but instead got on my knees and prayed to god that he would give life back to my fan. A few more tries and it started again! and its been working ever since. Hallelujah 

OK but serious stuff- this week we met with Yisel a few more times and she is on track for baptizm this Saturday!

We also knocked a door of a woman named Osnay and her two sons. She told us a little bit of her crazy sad story, and we gave her a message. She said she was very interested in learning more about the church so we asked for her number, but she said she doesn't have internet to access her phone. so instead we told her the details of church on Sunday, and this Sunday as me and mi compa left for church- there was Osnay waiting at the bus stop! Apparently she had been waiting there for 40 minutes because she wanted to come to church but couldn't text us, so she and her 7 year old son decided to wait and hope for us to walk by. Then she came to church! She has a lot of roadblocks and challenges, but we are gonna visit her again today- pray for Osnay!

I also have been listening to a lot of talks this week, some of my favorites were "why do we believe in christ" by Brad Wilcox and a talk my dad sent me called, "embrace the awkward" by C. Shane Reese. So listen to those and send me any talks you like! I WILL listen to them!!! 

I've also been reading the "Riccardi letter" which is super good if you want to give it a read!

Besides that we walked a lot, taught lessons and made new friends and I gave out a lot of stickers to the kids we met

Send me emails!!! I love you all!

 Hna Wride 

https://photos.app.goo.gl/TaFWjMoMBvfSBtTR7

Shoutouts: 

-tara had her mission farewell!

-Daniel turned 10?!??

Im gonna copy my neighbor and make a prayer list:

-Yisel

-Jullian

-misela

-Gabriel

-Osnay

-Jesús

Week 7: Panama ☀️

Buenas! 

I made it to Panama and it's awesome and super hot

I didn't write an email last week because I decided to pack (take a nap) instead, but here it is!

My time at the ccm was sooooo fun, lots of pickleball and card games. We also said goodbye to our maestros and said goodbye to all our friends there which was sad. I really miss hanging out with my district all day, but almost my entire district is serving in panama so we still see each other!

Some things:

I turned 19! our teacher let us have a whole 5 minutes of extra break to celebrate and my district got the entire cafeteria to sing happy birthday to me at dinner lol

I also cut my hair the last night at the ccm! It's nice to have short hair in the panamanaian heat but it also poofs up a lot because of the humidity so I look like Lord Farquad half the time but I think its a fashion statement 

We dropped off the one girl from my district not serving in panama at the busses at 1 am which was sad to say goodbyethen we went back and slept for two hours until we had to get to the busses ourselves at like 4 am. We flew out at 9 and I had subway for breakfast We landed in Panama and literally walking through the tunnel out of the plane felt like I was in a microwave. Well crap

We all loaded onto this bus and drove into the city! I have yet to see the canal- apparently the other side of the airplane did rip. We drove to the mission home in the city and met the mission presidents! They seem super cool

We also got our trainers! We were taken into the church chapel and one by one they called up the trainer, who introduced themselves and the area they and their comp were going to go to, and then they called who their comp was. It was really fun to watch. But then I saw this really short  latina walk up to the front and I remembered my dad telling me how hard but how cool it would be if my trainer was a native speaking latina. Well dad you got your wish. Meet my comp Hermana Fernando! She is from Guatemala and speaks about as much English as I do spanish so Google translate and the gift of tounges is our best friend right now. She is so sweet and easy to work with and she loves hugs 

As of now I've been in panama for 5 days and here are a few things that have happened:

   -tried the famous "corn milk" which was actually really good

   -learned that there are Crocodiles in panama?!? We were walking to a friend's house and my comp pointed to this tiny pond and said "Cocodrilo." I still havent seen one for myself but now every time we see any water I ask it there's any

   -we went to the store, and my comp called it the chino. I asked why because I thought it was called a tienda in spanish?? She said everyone calls it a chino because all the stores are owned by Chinese people 

   -there are these white kidnapper vans that drive around blasting some audio i can't understand. They dont have any advertisments or anything but apparently they sell pastries and donuts. Like ice cream trucks and they're actually really yummy 

   -im tired all the time. I swear the schedule is designed to give us just barely enough sleep to survive the day. Everyone in church asked me if I was ok because I looked half dead

   -all the kids call us "mormónies"

   -our house has a lot of geckos.

   -i said the closing prayer for the entire Panama mission zoom call in spanish yesterday! 

We have talked to so many people its been amazing, but most of the time I just feel like a sales bro and nobody wants to talk to a sales bro. My family just sends a kids to the door to say no parents are home and that's what people do to us here lol lol. So I want to do better at feeling our message in my heart when we talk to people so they can feel it too

I really just follow my comp around and share my testimony and the end of the lessons. But it's been good for me because I have no choice but to try and speak spanish so im learning a lot. I am still not great, BUT it's been crazy to see how much I've been able to speak after 7 weeks as a missionary compared to the 2 years i took spanish in high-school

In the CCM all the missionaries take a EI test their last few days to see how much they've progress they've made. My district and I were all beginner level, but if you scored above a 4.2 on the EI you're considered intermediate, and i got a 4.4! my teachers jaw physically dropped when he saw my score lol 

Lessons have been good, yesterday our friend Yisel accepted the invitation to be babtised! Before the lesson my comp said she wanted to invite her to be babtised but decided to talk about comfort instead because Yisel has been struggling, however when we sat down and asked if she had any questions, she said she has been wondering if she could be babtised! So cool how the spirit prepared her heart for that. 

I actually had no idea what was happening so I didnt know she accepted the invitation until we left lol but yay!

My comp said something that has been really comforting to think about: we have a message, and while sometimes we can be scared to teach them or see how they will respond, its the spirit that manifests it to their hearts and confirm the truth of it. We are only the messengers

OK this is really long lo siento but it's been good here! Email me- love you!!!

Hma Wride

https://photos.app.goo.gl/TaFWjMoMBvfSBtTR7

Week 5?

Hey yall p day is technically over and nothing happened this week but I thought it would give updates anyways

1. Watched some trees get cut down which was pretty fire

2. Taught relief society lesson 

3. Cut my roommates hair! 

4. Devo video from Elder Holland"feed my sheep" made my entire district cry and was so inspiring! 

5. Visited the temple 

6. Saw Elder Soares! And he gave a devo

7. I leave for Panama a week from today! 

Thats pretty much all the highlights and I got to get ready for bed

Love you all! 

Hermana wride